- There must be a steady stream of caffeine and/or popcorn and/or ice cream entering his body.
- An adrenaline pumping, action, or horror movie must be blaring on his surround sound. (A movie such as The Notebook or Hope Floats is a sure snoozer for him, if I even say those words, he's out.)
- It helps if he gets down off the couch and stretches on the floor, the longer the better. (This actually works really well and being an obsessed runner, this is his "go-to" stay awake technique.)
- He must not lie down on the soft, warm, leathery couch. The instant he does this, he's off to the land of nod. I warn him of this every night, but does he listen? Obviously not, or I wouldn't be writing about this.
If Brandon does not follow these recommendations, he's sure to be asleep on the couch when I head to bed at around 11:30. Being the kind and considerate wife that I am, I wake him up. Let me rephrase. I try to wake him up. This is what ensues when I try to wake him up...
Me: Brandon, it's 11:30, I am heading to bed.
Me: Brandon, I am going to bed. Are you coming?
Brandon: What? Jose, you need to go down to the greenhouse and tell Jorge to move those pots.
Me: What? I can't understand what you are saying? Brandon, it is time to go to bed.
Brandon: (His eyes are open and he is looking straight at me.) I told him that I would deliver those plants on Friday. Call him back and tell him that is the best I can do.
Me: (laughing) Brandon, you have to get up right now, you are not making any sense. It is 11:35 and I am going to bed. This is the last time I will try to wake you up....
Brandon: What are you laughing at? What? What's so funny? (now he is getting mad, because I am laughing at him)
Me: Goodnight honey.
Pretty sad, huh. Usually I will just head off to bed and he will mosy on in after a few minutes. Sometimes though, he just sleeps on the couch, and then curses the couch the next morning because he says if it wasn't so warm and soft, it wouldn't be so easy to sleep on. I tell him about the conversation we had the night before, and he denies saying those things, he doesn't remember me trying to wake him up. I tell him next time I will have to record it to prove it to him, but I never do, so he doesn't really believe me.
I love my husband, he is the hardest working man I have ever met. He works himself so hard that he can hardly pry himself off the couch at night, and he can't get work conversations out of his head. He not only works hard, he plays hard. Tomorrow he is running another marathon. Yes, that's 26.2 miles. He is a wonderful husband and father who tries hard to spend quality time with his family, even while running his own business, which is very tough and time consuming.
He is my hero.